I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGANIs there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN