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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

Spike Milligan

I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Beautiful Eyes
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Clothes Order Perfection Work
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Come Myself Quiet
This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Escape Eyes Loud Silence Work Yourself
A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Knowledge Learning One Liner Wisdom
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Animal Education Funny Start
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Rain Sky
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Confusion Father Myself Name
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Children Dog Funny Rich
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

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Popular Authors

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