Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGANIs there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I told you I was sick.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGAN