When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
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My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it’s unbelievably clear.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
STEVEN WRIGHT