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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Animal Funny Herself Laughter Milk
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
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Experience Need Yourself
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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Believe Funny Himself Man Stars Touch
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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Children Myself Quick Toy
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
STEVEN WRIGHT

Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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Book Funny Myself Writing
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
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Appointment Dental Eat Herself Time Visit Wait
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Education Funny Myself Perfection Practice Stop Teacher
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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Death Funny Success Yourself
Clones are people two.
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One Liner People
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Funny Literature Word
$Steven Wright Quote - Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.$

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Funny Mathematics People Trouble
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself

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