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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Will Rogers

There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
WILL ROGERS

Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
WILL ROGERS

Politics Reason Vote
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Land Stuff
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
WILL ROGERS

Fight Ignorant Quick
We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
WILL ROGERS

Applaud Hero Sit
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
No man is great if he thinks he is.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Man One Liner
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
WILL ROGERS

Country Job Morning President
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

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Popular Authors

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