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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
Common sense ain’t common.
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Common Sense Funny One Liner
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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Farmer Optimistic
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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Deep Different Ignorance One Liner Reality Subject
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay
No man is great if he thinks he is.
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Greatness Man One Liner
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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Motivational Park Road Space Success
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
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History Inspirational Let Go Past
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
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Funny Happen Hard Time Tragedy
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
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Ashame Gossip Live Parrot Sell
The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
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Admit Observe Party Politics Worse
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
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Debt Due never Pay Worry
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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Belong Democracy Organization Party Politics
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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Country Job Morning President

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