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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
WILL ROGERS

History Inspirational Let Go Past
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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Community Ideas Prohibition Work
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.
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Farmer Optimistic
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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Election Man Politics Unfortunate
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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Advance Civilization Kill War
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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Break Hear Horse People Smart
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
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Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
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Education Man Stupidity
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay
Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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Inspirational Life Serious Work Hard
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
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Difficult Hard Time Inspirational One Liner
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
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Civilization Learning Recognize Rights True
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
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Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
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Government Match Men Play
I never met a man I didn’t like.
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Man Meet never One Liner
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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Chair Deserve Funny High Five Face People

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