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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I never met a man I didn’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Man Meet never One Liner
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
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Philosophy Trouble
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
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Election Man Politics Unfortunate
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Birthday Experience Old Wait Worth
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
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Business Cost Count Man Pay
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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Change Comedy People Politics Serious
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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Greatness Judgment Man Missing
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Learning Men Observation Reading Stupidity
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
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Fly People Rage
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
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Government Match Men Play
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
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Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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Dog Politics Reason
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
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Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Chance Impression Inspirational Life
It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
WILL ROGERS

Awful Corruption Interest People
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
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Belong Democracy Organization Party Politics

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