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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERS

Joke Pratical Trouble
If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
WILL ROGERS

Die Dog Heaven Want
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
WILL ROGERS

Account Democracy Government Nation People
No man is great if he thinks he is.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Man One Liner
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
WILL ROGERS

Motivational Park Road Space Success
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
WILL ROGERS

Buy Gamble Save Sell Stock Market
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
WILL ROGERS

Break Hear Horse People Smart
Always drink upstream from the herd.
WILL ROGERS

Drink Funny Leadership
It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
WILL ROGERS

Awful Corruption Interest People
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
WILL ROGERS

Belong Democracy Organization Party Politics
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
WILL ROGERS

Advance Civilization Kill War
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
WILL ROGERS

Blow Carry Far Horn Sound

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Popular Authors

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