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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A fool and his money are soon elected.
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Fools Money
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
The more ignorant you are, the quicker you fight.
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Fight Ignorant Quick
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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Motivational Park Road Space Success
Common sense ain’t common.
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Common Sense Funny One Liner
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Chance Insult One Liner Shut Up
Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.
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Buy Land Stuff
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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Chance Impression Inspirational Life
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
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Politics Reason Vote
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
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Fruit Hard Time Inspirational Struggle
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
WILL ROGERS

Clean Country Mind Need
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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Dog Politics Reason
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
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Man Mistake never Tired
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
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Break Hear Horse People Smart
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
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Business Planning Vision
No man is great if he thinks he is.
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Greatness Man One Liner

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