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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
WILL ROGERS

Business Cost Count Man Pay
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
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Dog Politics Reason
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
I never met a man I didn’t like.
WILL ROGERS

Man Meet never One Liner
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
WILL ROGERS

Advice Deep Finding Hole Quit
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
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Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
WILL ROGERS

Failure Formula Guarantee Please Try
You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
WILL ROGERS

Fruit Hard Time Inspirational Struggle
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
WILL ROGERS

Mess Stupidity Trouble
Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
WILL ROGERS

Chew Funny Man Slap Tabacoo
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
WILL ROGERS

Debt Due never Pay Worry
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
WILL ROGERS

Chance Impression Inspirational Life
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
WILL ROGERS

Advertisement Convince Money Need People Spend
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
WILL ROGERS

Election Man Politics Unfortunate
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
WILL ROGERS

Ignorance Newspaper Reading

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