The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
WILL ROGERSAll I know is just what I read in the papers, and that’s an alibi for my ignorance.
More Will Rogers Quotes
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The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
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Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won’t work.
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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
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Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
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If there are no dogs on Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
WILL ROGERS