black
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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