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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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