I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDSWhen you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
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Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS