black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Live Lost Struggle Travel

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

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