I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSAttitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
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The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS