Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDSAttitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS