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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W. C. Fields

Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

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