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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS

Better Sex Worst
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. FIELDS

Break Himself Honesty Man Myself Smart Yourself
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS

Care Husband Wife
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

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