Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDSChildren should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDSYou can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDSI never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSIt ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDSA man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDSI didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDSWhen we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDSI like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDSThe only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDSIf I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDSWouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDSI never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDSAh, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDSNow don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDSSome people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS