black
grey
blue
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white

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

W. C. Fields

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS

Habit Mad Myself Weird
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDS

Drive Grateful Myself Reason
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner

If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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