There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDSThere’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDSI cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDSIf you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDSThe only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDSIt is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDSWhen you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDSYou can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDSThe world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDSDrat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDSThe nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDSStart every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDSA thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDSI personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDSA rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDSNo doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS