Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDSI drink therefore I am.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
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Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can’t cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
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Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
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I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
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Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS