A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDSI drink therefore I am.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
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I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS