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I drink therefore I am.

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Instagram Captions Myself One Liner

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Children Parents Tough
I never eat before breakfast.
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Eat Myself One Liner
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
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Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
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Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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Alcohol Illusion Reality
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
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Improvement Myself
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Alcohol Myself People Religious Sanity
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Animal Funny Wings
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
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Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Believe
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Appearance Help People Sex Ugly

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