black
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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