black
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

W. C. Fields

My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Funny Wings
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night.
W. C. FIELDS

Night Time Wonderful
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Home Start Time
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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