black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

W. C. Fields

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

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