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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Tim Allen

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
TIM ALLEN

Drive Myself Quality Sound
I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN

Myself Tools
Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
TIM ALLEN

Independent Man Travel
I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLEN

Best Choice Combination Myself System Understand
Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLEN

Hands Listening Story
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLEN

Forever Love Marriage Moments Myself Young
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN

Consider Funny Phone Technology
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time
My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
TIM ALLEN

Children Family Father Hero Myself
Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Borrow Man Tools
Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
TIM ALLEN

Children Learning Myself Respect
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Man Own
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy One Liner Ultimate
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN

Depend History Point View
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Children Goodness Independent
I do a lot of family shows.
TIM ALLEN

Family Myself Show

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

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