The older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
STEVEN WRIGHT