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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

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Funny Goodness Myself Oneself Worth

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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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Angry Install Light Live Myself People
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Forget Funny Myself
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
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Conscience Funny Sleep Time
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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Lost Myself Place Thinking
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Buy Fame Friendship Herself Popular Toy
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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Call Herself Home Light Myself Phone Woman
I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Food Funny Myself Service Time
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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Far Forever Goodness Immortal Live Myself
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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Animal Flavor Food Funny
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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Act Attitude Head Herself Live Scare Yourself
I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
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Myself People
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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Mathematics Pronunciation Sound

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