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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

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The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
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Bed Funny Hell Home Myself Nature Night Stars Wonder
Always remember your unique, just like everyone else.
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Remember Self Love Unique Worth Yourself
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
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Abandonment Book Build Funny Myself Ocean Yourself
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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Drive Learning Yourself
If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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Money Thinking Worth Yourself
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Education Funny Myself Perfection Practice Stop Teacher
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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Alphabet Order Song
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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Addiction Difference Myself Quit
All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
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Believe Funny Hands Myself Science Yourself
Half the people you know are below average.
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Average Level People Yourself
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
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Animal Flavor Food Funny
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Bad Conscience Memories
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Deep Funny Live Nature Ocean
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
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Forest Funny Himself Man Nature Woman Wrong
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Listening Mistake Yourself

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