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I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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