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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

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Forget Funny Myself

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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
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I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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