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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

Related Topics

Forget Funny Myself

Bagwalas

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You know when you’re sitting on a chair and you lean back so you’re just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
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Fall Feeling Myself Sit Time
If Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
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Hairs Himself Mirror Reflection See
I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Forget Funny Myself
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
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Darkness Device Myself
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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Death Myself Quote Right Talk Word
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
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Discipline Funny Himself Person Time
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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Eyes Myself Prescription Ran Walk
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
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Heaven Hell Hot Rise Temperature Warm
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
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Memories Photograph Yourself
My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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Better Doctor Myself Pay Right Work Yourself
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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Funny Herself Myself Night Time Walk
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
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Inspirational Motivational Struggle Way Wrong Yourself
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
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Alcohol Myself Photograph Thinking Woman
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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Distance Time Walk Yourself
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Education Funny Myself Perfection Practice Stop Teacher
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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Flight Leaving One Liner Yourself

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