All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
More Steven Wright Quotes
-
-
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
STEVEN WRIGHT