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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

Steve Martin

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTIN

Body Funny Home Myself Play Stay Woman
When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTIN

Death Myself Thinking
There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
STEVE MARTIN

Need People Relationship Soul Mate Yourself
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTIN

Doctor Funny Goodness Myself Sick
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
STEVE MARTIN

Alcohol Drink Poet Team Writing
I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
STEVE MARTIN

Astrology Believe Luck Myself
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTIN

Cook Fire Hairs Match Mischief Myself Start
Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN

Goodness Ignorance Inspirational Motivational One Liner Yourself
Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
STEVE MARTIN

Choice People Way Word
It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
STEVE MARTIN

Philosophy Thinking Yourself
With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
STEVE MARTIN

Audience Comedy Goodness Greatness Ideas Response Work Yourself
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
STEVE MARTIN

Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
STEVE MARTIN

Experience Imagination Life Myself Reality Stand
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
STEVE MARTIN

Hard Time Night Shine Sun Yourself
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTIN

Different Evolution Human Walk

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

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Popular Authors

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