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I’m Irish. We think sideways.

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Identity Myself One Liner Thinking

Bagwalas

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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Coward Hero Legs Myself
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Father Greatness Himself Inspirational Mad
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Beautiful Eyes
There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Death Far Laughter Live Time

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