I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANI cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






