My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
SPIKE MILLIGANI cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I told you I was sick.
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGAN