Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANLife is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGAN