Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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I told you I was sick.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






