My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGANIf a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGAN