A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGANA sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGANBlessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
SPIKE MILLIGANMoney can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
SPIKE MILLIGANPolicemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGANAll I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGANOnly on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANI thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
SPIKE MILLIGANMany people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGANThere is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
SPIKE MILLIGANChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANMy Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
SPIKE MILLIGANAre you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGANA lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGANI have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGANBeauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN