Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
SPIKE MILLIGANRender any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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I told you I was sick.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN