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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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