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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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Enough Food Politics

Bagwalas

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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Occasion Protection
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Enough Food Politics
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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Chance Happiness Money Myself
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Come Myself Quiet
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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Beautiful Eyes
Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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Death Life Sick
I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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Myself Pain Stand Wake Up
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Born Death Myself People
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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Joke Laughter Myself Sing
I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Myself Sick Yourself
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Clothes Order Perfection Work
I told you I was sick.
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Myself One Liner Sick

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