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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.

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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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Mindset One Liner Yourself
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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I told you I was sick.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Country Enough Fools Funny People Politics Time Yourself
Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Case Lost Number
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Age Confusion Father Myself Name
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Form Happiness Misery Money Yourself
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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