Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I’m a hero with coward’s legs.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN