Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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God made night, But man made darkness.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN