To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I told you I was sick.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN