How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGANListen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGAN