Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I told you I was sick.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
SPIKE MILLIGAN