Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
SPIKE MILLIGANWe haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN