Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
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If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
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Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
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I’m Irish. We think sideways.
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My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






