In the human race today, you came last.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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I can speak Esperanto like a native.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
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A lot of learning can be a little thing.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Its all in the mind, you know.
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To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN