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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

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Appearance Funny Myself Time

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Myself Plant Return
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Occasion Protection
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
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Father Funny Himself Influence Mad
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
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Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Age Body Myself Time
Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Animal Education Funny Start
God made night, But man made darkness.
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Darkness Deep Invention Man Night One Liner Spiritual
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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Come Myself Quiet
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
Aristocrats have heirs; the poor have children; the rest keep dogs.
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Children Dog Funny Rich
And God said, ‘Let there be light’ and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Connection Funny God Himself Light Wait
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Farm Hands Himself Wife
A lot of learning can be a little thing.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Knowledge Learning One Liner Wisdom
Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Heart Love Nation Patriot Yourself
Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Born Death Myself People

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