Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Any man can be 62, but it takes a bus to be 62A.
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Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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In the human race today, you came last.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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I told you I was sick.
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Education isn’t everything, for a start it isn’t an elephant.
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
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Australia, Australia, we love you from the heart. The kidneys, the liver & the giblets too. And every other part.
SPIKE MILLIGAN






