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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe’s singing until somebody told me that it wasn’t a joke.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Joke Laughter Myself Sing
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Case Lost Number
Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Class Expectation Morning Yourself
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Evidence Friendship Hands Myself
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Chance Happiness Money Myself
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Himself Man
I’m Irish. We think sideways.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Identity Myself One Liner Thinking
Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Enough Food Politics
If you kill me, I promise you – you will never take me alive.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Alive Kill Myself Promise Yourself
We were making love in the back of a truck and we got carried away.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Car Carry Love Relationship Sex Vehicle
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sea Sick Tree
It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Himself Marriage Perfection
We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Funny Planning Preparation Wrong
I told you I was sick.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Myself One Liner Sick
To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don’t want you singing at my funeral.
SPIKE MILLIGAN

Death Hope Myself Sing Yourself
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.
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Farm Hands Himself Wife

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