Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
SPIKE MILLIGANHow long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
More Spike Milligan Quotes
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There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in, But they’re ever so small That’s why rain is thin.
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
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A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
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You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.
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Life is a long agonized illness only curable by death.
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We haven’t got a plan so nothing can go wrong!
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Her mother was a cultivated woman – she was born in a greenhouse.
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Only on the third class tourist class passengers’ deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.
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I told you I was ill. (On his headstone)
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If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.
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I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.
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There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.
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Render any politician down and there’s enough fat to fry an egg.
SPIKE MILLIGAN