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Everybody I know is a joke writer.

Ron White

People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE

Band Brother Chill Favourite Hot People
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Movie Television Thing
I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITE

Few Good Married Time
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE

Become Better Comedian Goal Just
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
RON WHITE

Animate Bring Force Instead People Relax Stage Tend Thing
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
RON WHITE

Age Ame Bulk Fan Hear Relevant Say
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE

Country Good Majestic Theatre
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
RON WHITE

Been Comedian Consider Fun Good Peer Sure
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE

Brain Laugh People Somebody Stage Surgeon Teach Walk
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITE

Become Comedy Dirt Drawn Little Northwest Option Street Tear Town
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Let Go Next Thought Time
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite

Everybody I know is a joke writer.

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Everybody I know is a joke writer.

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