Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITEEverybody I know is a joke writer.
More Ron White Quotes
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
RON WHITE






