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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately

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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Born Doctor Mother Slap Ugly
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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Each Other Every Goe never Night Nothing Psychiatrist Right Seen Sex Wife
I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
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Come Drink Go Juice Prune Take Viagra
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Father Finger Kidnap More Piece Proof Remember Sent Time Want
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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Ask Birth Boy Control One Poster Year
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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Bath Hate Parent Radio Toast Toy
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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Act Actor Each Expose Himself Nide Time
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone

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