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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up

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Life is just a bowl of pits.
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Bowl Just Life Pit
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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Another Came Cement Felt Hand Neighborhood Real Some Tough
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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Everything Marriage Room Sepaetae Sleep Together Vacation
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Bee Butcher Kid Told Wife
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Halloween Kind Life Look Parent Sent
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Dentist Go Teeth Tie Told Wear Yellow
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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Ask How Big People Pet Store Work
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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Back Car Drive Want Wife
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
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Everyone Fruit Laugh Loom Met Morning Underwear
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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Another Come Day Girl Home Nobody Over Phone
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Bartender Plumber Psychiatrist See Seen Told Truth Wife

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