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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Cat Cover Kept Me Play Sandbox Up

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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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