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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

Rodney Dangerfield

Related Topics

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife

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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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Birthday Ever Had Join Respect Toast Water Wife Women
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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Get Honest No Politician Respect Run
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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Fight Full Hope Man Reform Seventy Still Twenty Want
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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Family Found Look Nap Tree Was
I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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Cigarette General Met Offer Surgeon
One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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Ask Birth Boy Control One Poster Year
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
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Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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Bee Butcher Kid Told Wife
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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Back Car Drive Want Wife

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