Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDMy mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
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