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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
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Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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Father Finger Kidnap More Piece Proof Remember Sent Time Want
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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Broke Game Hockey Night Other Out Went
Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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All Antier Chocolate Cook Got Mae Mouse Stuck Throat Wife
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
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All Life Pick Pocket Sex
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
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Everyone Fruit Hear Met Morning Ridiculous Underwear Yet
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Breast Fed Friend Like Me Mover never Only She Told
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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Another Came Cement Felt Hand Neighborhood Real Some Tough

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