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Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very

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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
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Frink Last Much Olive Sample Time Too
I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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Born I Morning Mother Sickness
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
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