With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDActing deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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