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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Rodney Dangerfield

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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree

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A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
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Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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Dog Family Found Look Three Tree
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
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Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
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