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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Rodney Dangerfield

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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bee Butcher Kid Told Wife
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Come Door Life Met Negligee Night Other Sexy Unfortunately
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
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Cheat Good Goodness Kid Look Me Wife
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
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Again Boyfriend Broke Her Marriage Trock Up Wife
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Bartender Beat God Make Me Ugly Yeah Zombie
My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Calendar Day Get Jealous Look May Other Ridiculous Want Wife
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Country Dog Every Leave Pyramid Room Some
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Arm Bone Dog Favorite My
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fat Found Look One Only Out People Way
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Brown Sie Told Uncle Wear Wish Yellow
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Fed Me Mother Shot Sing So Ugly Use
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Ben Big Clock Country Cousin Find Gay
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Acting Del Delicate Mask Put Very
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Attack Control Girl Last Myself Night Save
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Afraid Dark Light Me Naked Saw Wife
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

Everyone Fruit Hear Met Morning Ridiculous Underwear Yet

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