Witty Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Witty with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Witty quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
BILLY JOEL

Butter Peanut Sex Witty
Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.
D. J. MACHALE

Kids Warrior Witty
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
MITCH HEDBERG

Clever Funny Witty
By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
BILL VAUGHAN

Elderly Funny Witty
The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it.
BARON DE MONTESQUIEU

Believe Coffee Witty
Under every stone lurks a politician.
ARISTOPHANES

Hide Politics Witty
Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
TINA FEY

Career Obstacles Part Problem Solution Witty
Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Badass Being Care Like Thing Witty Yourself
After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
CATO THE ELDER

Clever Dead Life Monument One People Witty
Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, ‘Why not?’ and the other, ‘Why bother?’
SYDNEY J. HARRIS

Bother Funny Two Witty
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
TINA FEY

Cry Let Mad never People Some Witty
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
BJARNE STROUSTRUP

Funny Humorous Witty
I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
TINA FEY

Adjective Blorfit Excite Little Mean Mostly Stress Witty
Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
ROBERT GRAVES

Easy Family Funny Life Marriage Precious Time Together Trust Witty World
Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
ROBERT GRAVES

Easy Family Funny Life Marriage Precious Time Together Trust Witty World
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
TINA FEY

Ability Acne Anxiety Chin Good Turn Witty
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEY

Control Course Life Productive Saturday Sometimes Want Witty
If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

Company Fool Greatly Loss Man Witty
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
TINA FEY

Boss Case Good Mean People Talent Top Management Way Witty
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
ANDRE MAUROIS

Avoid Enough Much Must Possess Sufficient Too Witty
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEY

Funny Inspirational Impossible Strong Think Witty Woman
Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
TINA FEY

Adult Behaviour Female Funny Girl Kind Obvious Witty
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Someone Waitin Witty
MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
TINA FEY

Accusatory Applies Class Constantly Eye Look Make Statement Voice Witty
So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
TINA FEY

Ageism Face Funny Motivational Inspirational Lookism Sexism Unsolicited Witty Workplace

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