In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
TINA FEYSome people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
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Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
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I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
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Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
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Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
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In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY