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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

Tina Fey

Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
TINA FEY

Afterward Figures Hate Saying Yes
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
TINA FEY

Cry Let Mad never People Some Witty
Life is improvisation.
TINA FEY

Improvisation Inspirational Life Is
You can’t control things by being nervous.
TINA FEY

Being Control Nervous Thing
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful
You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
TINA FEY

Another Business Competition Other Woman
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
TINA FEY

Biscuit Born Cheddar Doe Food Liars Like Lobster Red Women
MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
TINA FEY

Accusatory Applies Class Constantly Eye Look Make Statement Voice Witty
(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
TINA FEY

Cry Everyone never People Say Some Terrify
‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEY

Accusatory All Ask Constant Dream Eye Job Juggle Look Mother People
I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
TINA FEY

Amazed Constantly Funny Humor People
Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Change Confidence Motivational Opinion Self Esteem Waste
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
TINA FEY

Crazy Done Great Like Look Makeup Overcome Photoshop Witty
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
TINA FEY

Beauty Care Hilarious Important Inspirational Inspiring Rule
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do
TINA FEY

Confidence Delusion Hard Percent Ten Thinking Want Work
If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
TINA FEY

Answer Better Energy Ignore Jerky Nove Outpace People Way
People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
TINA FEY

Children Country Elsewhere Mind Parent People Prove Thousand
In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
TINA FEY

Attempt Decision Easier History Myself Thing Worst
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
TINA FEY

Ask Christmas Clinical Each Feign Husband Read Some Study Talk Taught Tree
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEY

Control Course Life Productive Saturday Sometimes Want Witty
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY

Consider Inexperience Job Politics Prostitution Uinexperience Virtue
My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
TINA FEY

Designer Fashion Tell Wear Wise
Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
TINA FEY

Baby Daughter Leave Maternity Night Over Saturday Weekend
I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
TINA FEY

Amazing Four Gay Good Look Lot Movie Nobody Seen Star Team
This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
TINA FEY

Embarrassment Failure Feet Okay Spine Survive Understand Weight

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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