For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
TINA FEYPeople lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
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It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
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Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
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Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
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In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.
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It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
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I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
TINA FEY