“It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.”

You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.

If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

Life is improvisation.

In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].

When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”

People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.

‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

How far must a Christian go in order to be saved? Only to the Cross. But if I am disobeying God in my life and cast off His law.

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

So yes, I can absolutely see myself cast as Agent Mom.

The opening-night audience is mostly friends of the cast and backers of the show, and they cometo applaud their money.

My heart is moved by all I cannot save: so much has been destroyed I have to cast my lot with those who age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.

Only I can’t do them so I ended up on my ass followed by the most unsightly backward roll out of it, followed by the cast falling over in laughter and a good portion of the audience too.

The death of dictator Kim Jong-Il has cast all eyes on North Korea, a country without literature or freedom or truth.