“Life is improvisation.”

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.

If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].

When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”

Improvisation sometimes seemed more like jazz than acting, like verbal jazz, with the actors playing a theme back and forth, and then introducing another themeM

But one of the things I learned from improvising is that all of life is an improvisation, whether you like it or not.

I try to improvise like Les Young, Louis Armstrong or someone else I admire. What comes out is what I feel.

In improvisation, there are no mistakes.

I don’t like the stigma that comes with being called a poet. So I call what I’m doing an improvisational adventure or an inebriational travelogue.

Jazz Improvisation means that practice is not as straightforward as it would be when you simply have a score to play.

When I sit down to write a song, it’s a kind of improvisation, but I formalize it a bit to get it into the studio, and when I step up to a microphone, I have a vague idea of what I’m about to do.

Composition is frozen improvisation.