I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEYIn most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
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In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
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It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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Life is improvisation.
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
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In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
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You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
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And I can see Russia from my house.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
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