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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.

Tina Fey

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY

Again Crack Funny Inspirational Joke Like Math Struggle
My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
TINA FEY

Myself Seriously Take Work
So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
TINA FEY

Ageism Face Funny Motivational Inspirational Lookism Sexism Unsolicited Witty Workplace
People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
TINA FEY

Children Country Elsewhere Mind Parent People Prove Thousand
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
TINA FEY

Designer Fashion Tell Wear Wise
I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
TINA FEY

Amazing Four Gay Good Look Lot Movie Nobody Seen Star Team
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY

Another Boy Boys Country Gorgeous Interested People Person Play Problem White
Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea.
TINA FEY

Baby Book Down Husband Love Pick Pray Prejudice Pride Right
You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
TINA FEY

Experience Survive Sweating Understand
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

Back Bad Fan Pie Remember Think Thinking Weekend Well
Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
TINA FEY

Final Good Gravitate Kid Learning School Something Toward
The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
TINA FEY

Achieve Arm Athlete Closet Country Doll Made People Person President Scientist
If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
TINA FEY

Call Feel Good Internet Yourself
Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
TINA FEY

Part Problem Solutions Whatever
Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Inspiring Leadership Motivational
My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY

Day Drinking Delicate Drinking Full Go Time
Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
TINA FEY

Baby Learn Lesson Mean People Really Something Witty
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful
If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
TINA FEY

Answer Better Energy Ignore Jerky Nove Outpace People Way
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEY

Funny Inspirational Impossible Strong Think Witty Woman
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
TINA FEY

Ability Acne Anxiety Chin Good Turn Witty
Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
TINA FEY

Amaze Even Got More Movie Review Worst
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY

Adorable Baby Blame Creature Fart Humor
An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
TINA FEY

Acting Everything Motivation Moving Teacher Told Yes

Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.

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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tina Fey Quotes