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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Bill Watterson

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup
They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
BILL WATTERSON

Around Figures Hang Right Secret Tricks
I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.
BILL WATTERSON

Lettering Reflection Way Writing
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Progress Scientific Progress
It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSON

Lobotomy Needs Saws
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
BILL WATTERSON

Painting Solve Tigers Vans
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Guy Humorous Look Thinking
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Point Rockets Ships Wearing
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Helping Mood
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
BILL WATTERSON

Law Lawn Over Running Spirit Wall
If you’ve ever compared a film to a novel it’s based on, you know the novel gets bludgeoned. It’s inevitable, because different media have different strengths and needs, and when you make a movie, the movie’s needs get served.
BILL WATTERSON

Different Inevitable Media Needs
One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.
BILL WATTERSON

Fantasies Head Realistically Since
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Childhood Spoiling
I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSON

Allowed Hello Rattle Say Stop Swear Words
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.
BILL WATTERSON

Light Sleep Summer
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
BILL WATTERSON

Comforting Few Late Less

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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