Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSONBarney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.
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Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
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I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I’ve got to go to school the next day. It’s like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.
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I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
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Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
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You know, maybe we don’t need enemies.” “Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.
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Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
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Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
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Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running.
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
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Know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
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I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
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If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
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We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
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Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
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I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
BILL WATTERSON -
What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON