“Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T”

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I’ll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.

I’m willing to take the blame if the strip goes down the drain, and I want the credit if it succeeds. So long as it has my name on it, I want it to be mine.

Let’s say that life is this square of the sidewalk. We are born at this crack and we die at that crack. Now we find ourselves somewhere inside the square and in the process of walking outside of it.

Repetition is the death of magic.

The gospel teaches us to be happy, to have faith rather than fear, to find hope and overcome despair, to leave darkness and turn toward the light of the everlasting gospel.

What state do you live in? Denial.

I think comics overall would be better. I think there’s a tremendous potential to be tapped.

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink

Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.

Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.

I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.

Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .