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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Bill Watterson

Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSON

Assembly Baby Cheaper Dad Light Sears
At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
BILL WATTERSON

Along Around Detroit Enjoy Good Probably Time
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Progress Scientific Progress
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Childhood Spoiling
It’s gratifying to hear that from people who care about comic art. I never know what to make of it when someone writes to say, “Calvin and Hobbes is the best strip in the paper. I like it even more than Nancy.”
BILL WATTERSON

Art Gratifying People Someone Write Writing
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
BILL WATTERSON

Hate Point Stories Thinking
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
BILL WATTERSON

Clock Funny Leader Roger
We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
BILL WATTERSON

Allow Current History Need Prejudices Versions
Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Frustration Life Like Running
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.
BILL WATTERSON

Avoiding Hobbies Slips
I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

Fairness Favors World
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
BILL WATTERSON

Design Grace Produce Spiders
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
BILL WATTERSON

Really Running Stupid
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret
I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word ‘booger’ in a newspaper comic strip.
BILL WATTERSON

Firsts Hobbes Use
I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Wonder
No sport is less organized than Calvinball.
BILL WATTERSON

Less Organized Sports

I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

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I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

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