“You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.”

So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

As “Calvin and Hobbes” went on, the writing pushed the drawings into greater complexity.

Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.

I’ve been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.

If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.

No sport is less organized than Calvinball.

What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I’ve always tried to make the strip animated, even when the characters aren’t moving, with expressions or perspectives or some sort of exaggeration.

I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?

Suddenly, we realize our time in here is fleeting. Is our quick experience here pointless?

In the right hands, a comic strip attains a beauty and elegance that, really, I would put against any other art.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

At least 50 times. I’ve jumped off a building, jumped off a cliff in a car. I’ve been in bedrooms when women came in with knives and guns.

An experience associated only once with a bereavement, an accident, or a battle, may become the center of a permanent phobia or complex, not in the least dependent on a recurrence of the original shock.

The English language on her tongue became a smoke-screen, without her eyes changing expression in the least.

One of the principles we teach in our programs is “If you shoot for the stars, you’ll at least hit the moon.” Poor people don’t even shoot for the ceiling in their house, and then they wonder why they’re not successful.

Now she hates me. I have taught her that, at least.

Make a habit of two things: to help; or at least to do no harm.

Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business – which at least does us all some good.

Of several remedies, the physician should choose the least sensational.