“They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!”

It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.

I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse

Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.

Scientific Progress goes boink?

At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.

[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy,

Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.

That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

Excellence is being able to perform at a high level over and over again. You can hit a half-court shot once. That’s just the luck of the draw. If you consistently do it… that’s excellence.

Language fits over experience like a straight-jacket.

Hey now, none of that. You know i don’t have one evil bone in my body. Only two hundred and six of them?

I think love is something that you have to work on, and it develops over experience and time. Love is a practice.

It’s no use crying over spilt milk, because all of the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it.

There is one rule for politicians all over the world: Don’t say in Power what you say in opposition; if you do, you only have to carry out what the other fellows have found impossible.

I love food, and I’m a chronic over-orderer at restaurants.