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Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

Bill Watterson

I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
BILL WATTERSON

Forest Intelligent Reading Thinking
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.
BILL WATTERSON

Afford Ignorant Knowledge Least Paralyzing
I’ve been amazed at how one idea leads to others if I allow my mind to play and wander.
BILL WATTERSON

Amazed Ideas Mind Wander
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Thinking Wells
Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes.
BILL WATTERSON

Numbers Play Special
I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
BILL WATTERSON

Littles Nice People
I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
BILL WATTERSON

Homework Negotiation Procrastinating Skills Use
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing
I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.
BILL WATTERSON

Autopsy Bigs Mouths People
I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
BILL WATTERSON

Dessert Food Funny Vegetarian
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Friendship People Rationalizing Real Skills
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorance Learning Waste
We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
BILL WATTERSON

Allow Current History Need Prejudices Versions
Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
BILL WATTERSON

Painting Solve Tigers Vans
I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

Fairness Favors World
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.
BILL WATTERSON

Buttons Funny Light
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Helping Mood
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life

Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

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Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!

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