“That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.”

Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!

Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.

In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.

You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.

You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You’re ignorant, but at least you act on it.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.

For me, it’s been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity.

Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.

Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

I’ll try to be careful, but I know I’m not immune, cause I just can’t imagine how I’d ever come to harm with this feeling that I’m feeling as I’m drowning in your arms.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.

The only way to keep a show alive is to stay loyal to your fans and not betray them creatively or ignore them when it comes to extra content. I’m on Twitter because I’m trying to answer their questions.

For me, what makes great actors, always is how truthful they are to the character and the story and the emotion that they’re trying to tell.

Leadership is about doing what you know is right – even when a growing din of voices around you is trying to convince you to accept what you know to be wrong.

As a comic, I’ve heard gunshots while I’m trying to get to sleep. I’ve performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of something you said.

Don’t try to get all your rewards on earth. There are more rewards in Heaven.

You do it because there’s a story to be told. I can tell you that the job of trying to tell the truth about people whose job it is to hide the truth is about as complicated and difficult as trying to hide it in the first place.