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Scientific Progress goes boink?

Bill Watterson

Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life… I don’t want the issue of Hobbes’s reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
BILL WATTERSON

Issues Reality Special
MOMMMM, I’m thirsty… What’s this, just water?
BILL WATTERSON

Mom Thirsty Water
Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
BILL WATTERSON

Life Needs Surprise
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
I’M SIGNIFICANT!!! … Say’s the dust speck.
BILL WATTERSON

Dust Say Significant Specks
Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Dark Daylight Mean Truth
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
For me, it’s been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity.
BILL WATTERSON

Curiosity Ideas Play Years
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
BILL WATTERSON

Higher Paper Standards
You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.
BILL WATTERSON

Chemistry Design Ingredients
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running.
BILL WATTERSON

Car Mind Running
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Real Smug Wisely
The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbies Jobs Secrets
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
BILL WATTERSON

Around Circle Hobbies Know Screaming
They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
BILL WATTERSON

Law Lawn Over Running Spirit Wall
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three

Scientific Progress goes boink?

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Scientific Progress goes boink?

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