“We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.”

Buttons … check. Dials … check. Switches … check. Little colored lights … check.

For me, it’s been liberating to put myself in the mind of a fictitious six year-old each day, and rediscover my own curiosity.

Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.

Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out.

I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.

Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?

One of the jokes I really like is that the fantasies are drawn more realistically than reality, since that says a lot about what’s going on in Calvin’s head.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!

It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.

I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse

Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.

I am still bullied occasionally. However, none of my current bullies really exist. They’re all in my head. Be your own best friend instead of your worst enemy.

The only way out of the current crisis is to amend the Constitution.

I am swept beneath your current – it pulls me in, and I don’t even try to swim.

Once the current of awareness of the self is set afoot, it becomes everlasting and continuous by intensification.

I’d like to think that throughout my career whatever my current record is has 110% of my best.

Life is as the sea, art a ship in which man conquers life’s crushing formlessness, reducing it to a course, a series of swells, tides and wind currents inscribed on a chart.

What a heavy oar the pen is, and what a strong current ideas are to row in!

If inflation-adjusted interest rates decline in a given country, its currency is likely to decline.