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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Bill Watterson

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
BILL WATTERSON

Definitions Desk Library Needs Reference
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup
Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
BILL WATTERSON

Clock Funny Leader Roger
Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
BILL WATTERSON

Built Character Regretted
Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.
BILL WATTERSON

Argue Shaves Six Years
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Progress Scientific Progress
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running.
BILL WATTERSON

Car Mind Running
I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSON

Allowed Hello Rattle Say Stop Swear Words
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
It’s going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn’t know anything but what it’s seen on TV.
BILL WATTERSON

Generation Running World
I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Friendship People Rationalizing Real Skills
I knew you’d win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming “Aaaaaaaaaaaa”, then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it’s just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!
BILL WATTERSON

Around Circle Hobbies Know Screaming
That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Perseverance Remarkable Worse
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
BILL WATTERSON

Esteem Expectations Secret Self
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Ecstasy Enough
From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Conformity Connect Dots Way
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Witty
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
BILL WATTERSON

Architect Form Function
If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
BILL WATTERSON

Inspirational Nature Stars
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
There are no restrictions of taste, approach, or subject matter. The gatekeepers are gone, so the prospect for new and different voices is exciting. Or at least it will be if anyone reads them.
BILL WATTERSON

Different Gatekeepers Gone Prospects Voice

We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

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We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

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Popular Authors

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